Wednesday, July 6, 2011

How not to kill a wasp.

The majority of my morning at work was spent battling with a wasp.

He was big, and looked mean. I hid out in my office as much as I could, keeping an eye on him through the glass but knew I'd eventually have to kill that wasp.

The first tactic I used against him was a rolled up magazine. Fail. Either it was to small or my arms are too short because that magazine just wasn't reaching.

Next up was the 1.5 inch three ring binder. Fail. I think all I did was show him what a nice, strong breeze felt like.

Then came the 3 inch three ring binder. Almost, but no, therefore a fail. I had originally intended to smoosh him with the spine of the binder, which I was able to accomplish twice (based on the crunch) but that little booger survived both smooshing attempts.

So, I went back to the smaller binder. By this point this wasp is pissed. And as I'm standing there trying to get up my courage to make yet another attempt at taking this wasp's life...he charges at me. Yes, you read that correctly...he. charged. at. me.
I started flailing the binder all around me (eyes closed, of course) in an attempt to hit him but instead tripped over my own feet and fell hard on my right wrist and butt. Then, because I have the weirdest emotions EVER, I started to laugh uncontrollably. So loud that my coworker came out of her office down the hall to assure I was ok. I assured her that I was fine, just embarrassed that a wasp was giving me so much trouble.

Finally, she saved the day. She took her shoe and climbed up on a chair and gave that wasp what I had been attempting to give him for the past half hour...death. Success!


  1. I was just telling Kendall that we need to invent some type of woman's critter-killer; spiders were my inspiration. We need to invent something that can efficiently and effectively grab the little beasts from a distance. Maybe we can come up with a prototype when we get together.haha

  2. I'm laughing so hard (and laughing with you...not AT you! hehe) reading this.

    Wasps are scary.

  3. I came over from Mrs 4444 reading most of your blog but wanted to comment on your most recent post.
    I teach in a child care center and I am able to get every bug, insect in our room out alive because you know you don't harm nature pff. When I get home however it's hubby to the rescue.I scream like a little girl and if I have to do it myself I kill them. Oh if the students only knew

  4. Now that would have been a viral youtube clip.
    So Mrs. 4444 and you like subway.
    You need to treat her to Waffle House.