Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Day Two...

It's almost been 48 hours since I've had my last cigarette. It feels like it's been an eternity and a millisecond all at the same time. I have never in my life wanted something as bad as I want a cigarette. BUT I know that the first puff of that cigarette would immediately be something I regretted. I've fallen off this wagon before, I've tried to quit smoking more than I really care to admit. So I decided that this time around I wouldn't tell anyone I was quitting until I had actual been smoke free for a period of time, yeah, that worked out. Mr. Ski brought up that maybe I wasn't telling people because I didn't want to be held accountable and I agree for the most part. I'm usually not the type of girl to get worked up about failing. I consider failing a part of life, I've never been super competitive or even that great of a team player, by saying that I'm not saying I don't like to win...I do. But I also tend to choose activities based on how likely I am to succeed. For instance, I was a swimmer in high school. It's basically an individual sport with a few relay races thrown in every once in awhile. I am confident in my ability as a swimmer, ask Mr. Ski he will tell you that I usually don't pass up an opportunity to chastise his "butterfly" stroke when we're goofing around in a pool. I knew that this was my sport unlike track, tennis, and volleyball. Those other sporting attempts were just further proof of my lack of both hand/eye coordination and a love for running. Wow...how's that for a tangent. All that to say...I do not want to fail at quitting smoking this time.

Anyways day 2...I've been breathing clean air for almost 48 hours and apparently by 72 hours all of the nicotine is officially out of your body. Now, that doesn't mean I'm in the clear, the mental effects are still there. The daily associations are still there. But I can do this. I am stronger than cigarettes or the desire. I still want them, but I know that this is for the best. I am on the right track, I am making the healthy decision, I will one day not want cigarettes, I will succeed in this endeavor, I am smoke-free.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Day One...What do I do now?

I am smoke free. Mr. Ski and I set a stop date (well, I set the date, he's been ready for awhile) to quit smoking on September 27, 2010. So I had my last cigarette last night, September 26th, 2010 at 11:59pm. It was a little weird saying goodbye to my last cigarette maybe because I know that this is the LAST one. I feel it, it was time. Here are some of the things that have been going through my head all day...

"I have nothing to do now...I'm so bored." This sentence was uttered often on my way to work. I used to think (prior to quitting) that I would only need to make it through the minutes that I actually smoke and that anything in between would be a breeze. Uh, no. I reached for my cigarettes a minimum of 200 times. And the thought, "what do I do now?" coursed through my brain throughout the entire commute both to and from work. So, because I didn't have a straw that could immolate a cigarette I held a tampon...unused and still wrapped of course. I'm sure that was a sight!

I decided to quit after my birthday (this past Saturday) for a couple of reasons. Mainly because I began smoking after I turned 18 (I've always been a bit of a stickler for the rules) and I figure that 10 years is long enough to torture my lungs with smoke, nicotine, and chemicals.

Ironically, I burned the crap out of my finger yesterday (my last smoking day) so that was a great reminder of something I will never have to experience again. There's a list I'm making of things I will never have to worry about since I won't be smoking...but that's for another day.

Major annoyance on Day one of Not smoking...the commute. all. of. it.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

This, that, and a home pregnancy test.

First things first...assuming the pregnancy test was reliable, the Ski's are not expecting. Which is ok, we would both like to wait a little longer before embarking on parenthood. Plus, if I got pregnant now I would be delivering around May-ish and that would not jive with our busy season at work. How sad is it that I think of that! Moving on...

I'm thinking of making some signs to hold up while passing or being passed by irresponsible drivers, you know since I see so many on my commute to and from work. They wouldn't be too rude just things like, "Stop sifting through the report you're about to give." or "Quit Texting!" or "Maybe you should pull over and take a nap." or "You aren't the only one on the road." or "I know you think you're cool for driving fast and recklessly...but no one else does." or "Tomorrow get up 5 minutes earlier so you can avoid putting your eyeliner on while driving." Side note: I have, at one point or another, seen each of these sign topics while on the interstate. Scary.

As you read above, I commute so therefore I listen to something pretty much all the time when I'm in the car. Most of the time it's NPR. Recently I heard a commercial for one of those sardine-can-sized-fuel-efficient-itty-bitty-cars and it made me wonder; When did "go cart handling" become a sellable feature? Oh, yes, car salesman I love driving go carts and would prefer a car that emulates that type of handling to a tee. Uh, yeah right. I could be wrong though...

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

And...I'm back!

So, I'm not so sure what's been going on with me and blogging here lately...but it is safe to say I have been a real slacker when it comes to typing out all these crazy thoughts! So since it's been awhile, here are some updates!

~We are back into the football swing of things. Mr Ski has practice Monday-Saturday and games to coach on Monday, Thursday and Friday. Shew! For a girl who NEVER ever watched football I sure do watch a lot of it now. And surprisingly enough, I don't mind! Now, I won't turn on a football game on tv if it's just me (my dvr holds much more enticing things!) but I definitely don't mind going to games and especially since I'm getting to watch Mr. Ski coach. He loves it so much and I can tell, it's so awesome to watch him!

~I've joined SparkPeople. I love it so far, probably because I sit in front of a computer all day so logging my food is easy for me to do. I've lost some poundage since joining so that's always a bonus. I really need to get back into shape but I'm having a hard time giving up my mornings. I love to sleep and right now the thought of exercising and not sleeping makes me want to wimper. haha. I started Jillian's 30 day shred and made it through two days....pathetic. I'm going to have to start that again but now I'm dreading the soreness.

~Labor Day just passed. All I can really tell you of the weekend is that I slept A LOT! I'm not sure when the last time was that I've slept that much but I can tell my body needed it. I've just been so drained lately...and craving hot sauce (which is odd). Mr. Ski asked me the other night at dinner while I was drowning my taco in hot sauce (which I never do...) if I was preggers. Hmm...guess I need to pick up a test. I hate buying pregnancy tests for numerous reasons:
1.) I'm always embarrassed. I don't know why, but I am.
2.) I think it's absurd that they charge that much for a stick you pee on.
3.) I am never confident in their results which makes me want to buy a different brand of stick to pee on.
4.) There is no easy, non splatter, way to do it!
Results are pending. (Since I am unable to ignore directions when it comes to these things and I'm waiting for my next morning pee since I forgot this morning.)

~Gidget has gone to live with Edward. I'm not able to talk in detail about this without crying. I know she is much happier, I know that it is for the best, I know that Gidget is very therapeutic for him but I just can't help but be sad when I think about it.