Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Not your typical Wednesday post...

So I've seen Wordless Wednesday on the blogs that I read and while I am tempted to follow suit I'm afraid I have some words! We'll just call this post an "I've HAD IT post"

-If one more person calls me a "bitch" or "stupid bitch" or any other name associated with those while I'm in my car and they are cutting across the road to get to a store, I'm gonna lose it! Evil Grandma went as far as stopping in the middle of the road, in the rain to wave her fists in the air and shout multiple things at me which I couldn't make out but I definitely could read her lips when she shouted BITCH! I mean come on! It's not like I'm going to run over you (Evil Grandma) or that I don't see you running like a crazy person with your umpteen kids in tow (Crazy Mom of the Year). By the way, what a great example you are setting for your children by yelling profanities at me and I guarantee you have yelled at them numerous times for calling their multiple siblings bad names....no wonder they do! Not once have I come even close to not stopping and yet they still feel it necessary to shout names out at me. Next time I swear I'm going to get out of the car and see if they feel angry enough to say it to my face. I'm not the fighting type but by gosh I'm getting sick and tired of people calling me names when I'm inside the metal confines of my car. Say it to my face Crazy Mom of the Year and Evil Grandma...bet you don't have the balls!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Friday Fragments

Friday Fragments?

Time for Friday Fragments! Woot! Make sure you go to the originator's blog Mrs. 4444's Half Past Kissin' Time to check out her Friday Fragments and link yours to hers by using Mr. Linky. You can also check out other bloggers Friday Fragments there too! It's a win win situation!

*We had a bird's nest in the tree in our front yard...I'd seen it but not really thought much about it. After the wind storm we had this last weekend I noticed that the nest was now on the ground. The other day after work I walked over closer and there were pretty, little blue eggs scattered and broken on the ground. For some reason this made me very sad...I hate birds especially after we had a ton flocking around our house earlier this year but the idea of baby birds was exciting for some reason. I guess I really do have baby fever! Maybe another momma will come make her nest there.

**Last night we went over to the Pregent's to visit (they came home last night from a terribly long 3 weeks in Florida), unfortunately I didn't get to see my favorite baby, he was already in bed but it was good to catch up with Mom and Pop Pregent. As we were sitting in the garage (Mom and Pop Pregent and I were all sitting in the same type of chairs, Mr. Ski had a hard plastic chair), we heard a ripping sound as Pop Pregent falls through his chair. Bahahaha! So funny! Not even an hour later we heard another ripping sound as Mom Pregent falls through her chair (seriously, she can't weigh more than 90 pounds soaking wet). Mr. Ski was like "Don't laugh Mrs. Ski you're next!" Luckily I didn't fall through my chair...but I have to admit I tried not to wiggle around too much for fear of that ripping sound.

***So, I love Mr. Ski very much but as I've mentioned before he doesn't exactly care for my pooch, Gidget. So it always makes me tense when she barks at night because Mr. Ski doesn't sleep well to begin with and lately has been having to get up at 4 a.m. and I really don't want him to get mad if she barks and wakes him up. He has a really bad back, thanks Army, and has trouble falling asleep and staying that way and it's nearly impossible for him to go back to sleep if he wakes up in the middle of the night. Me, I sleep with no issues in fact I can sleep through anything, which probably irritates him. Anyways, I was in the shower the other night and for some reason Gidget started barking, I probably don't have to remind you that she's a chihuhua so her bark can be annoying. I was shushing her and then I heard it. Mr. Ski was yelling from the bedroom...I couldn't understand him of course because I was in the shower but he kept yelling and Gidget kept barking. I started to get frustrated and I started yelling at Gidget "Shut up! You're going to make him mad at me! HUSH GIDGET!" and I was also yelling back to him "I'm in the shower! I can't understand you!" So he stopped. And then he started yelling again...so I get out of the shower, conditioner still in my hair and I crack open the bathroom door to tell him that I was in the shower and couldn't understand him and he says..."I can't move!" Wow, I felt so bad! Here I was getting angry at him for trying to tell me something and all the while he's yelling because he needs help. I definitely got the crappy wife award that night. But in my defense I honestly thought he was yelling because of Yappy McYapperson. So, I had to figure out how to roll him over so he could slide off the bed into the floor and once he did that he was able to get up. It was scary though...scarier for him I'm sure. I guess he'll be getting another MRI soon, I know that surgery is in our future and I'm not looking forward to that and I'm certain he's not either.

****Speaking of Yappy McYapperson I'm going to sell her to the gypsies if she doesn't stop dive bombing in piles of unpleasantness in our back yard! It really burns me up!

*****Lately I've started picking mascara off my eyelashes. Bad Mrs. Ski!! Which inevitably causes my eyelashes to come out. I. HAVE. GOT. TO. STOP.

Well, my Fragments weren't much shorter this week...maybe next week! Don't forget to go to Mrs. 4444's page and check out her Friday Fragments!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

A Thousand Words Thursday

Cheaper Than Therapy

It's Thousand Words Thursday! This is another first for me. Head over to Cheaper than Therapy to see how it's really done and use Mr. Linky to link your own Thousand Word Thursday photo!


This picture was taken last year in Savannah, GA on the fourth of July. As you may know Mr. Ski is in the Army and served a tour in Iraq. This day was hard for Mr. Ski because his brothers in arms were in Afghanistan at the time and Mr. Ski wanted nothing more than to be fighting along side them. But the Army had different plans for him due to a back injury he sustained the during his first deployment. This photo represents a country at war.

"Some wonder why our soldiers wear the flag "backwards" on their right shoulders. Here's why...As the flag bearer would charge with Infantry and Calvary units his rapid foward momentum would cause the flag to stream back. If a soldier is charging into battle the flag would give the apperance of forward motion. This is why our soldiers wear the flag patches on the right shoulder "backward." Because retreat in battle, as any soldier will tell you, is not the Army way." -Snopes

My thoughts and prayers are with all the soldiers fighting for our freedom. May they all come home safely.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

On my journey home...

I see a lot of interesting things not to mention a lot of interesting things happen to me on my way to and from work everyday. For instance, as you may have read in last Friday's Fragments I have an unfortunate way of getting stuck behind cow trucks. I also have been flipped off, cussed, honked at and once I got the thumbs up (that was a good day). Considering I spend so much of my time on the road it's not surprising that I see a lot of different things, yesterday I saw something I had never seen before. I was driving yesterday evening probably around 75-80 mph and I was passed by a couple of motorcycles, no big deal right, well I noticed that the guy in front was slumped over. I originally thought well maybe his back hurts (lord knows mine would) but then I saw him nod off! Literally this guy nodded off on. the. interstate!! His right arm fell off his knee and he jerked awake! Then he nodded off again and his left arm fell off the handle bars and he jerked awake again! I immediately slowed down because I didn't want to be anywhere near this guy when he swerved off the road inevitably causing an accident. That got me thinking...how in the world do you fall asleep on a motorcylce going 80+ mph?! I mean, I can completely understand someone falling asleep in the car...you're sitting with your back supported at a comfortable recline, probably not too hot and not too cold, and your eyes slowly begin to shut. But when you're on a motorcycle isn't the wind always whipping in your face? Don't you have to maintain some kind of control to keep it in control? Aren't you constantly passing or being passed by a vehicle much larger and maybe louder than your own? How in the world can you fall asleep on a motorcycle?! Obviously it's possible. I felt certain that he would have pulled off at the nearest exit for some coffee or to walk around to wake up but he didn't. I could see him in the distant still plugging along probably continuing to nod off.
Now, I'm not the best driver but every time that I've been in a situation where I've nodded off or could barely keep my eyes open the first thing I've done is stopped for something to drink or to stretch my legs primarily because I really would hate to put someone else's life at risk because I was too lazy to wake myself up! Not this guy...I wonder how long he went before stopping? I swear some people have no consideration for their own safety much less the safety of someone else. I really need a job closer to home...this commute (or someone else commuting) might kill me...literally.

Monday, May 18, 2009

YES! I'm a winner!

OH EM GEE!!! I won! Not that I tried to win...but I won!! Honestly, I wasn't even aware of the fact that I had entered into Mrs. 4444's contest to win a GoGirl but apparently I had entered myself by commenting on her post about how funny her video was and how much I liked her laugh. (Her laugh really is contagious!) She notified me this weekend (I wasn't able to view my comments on my phone so I just now found out!) that I was one of the lucky winners! Woohoo!


Let's see this can add to the list of things I have won...oh yeah, that list is quite short. It now includes the GoGirl (yes!) and a giant stuffed donkey that I won in middle school from the dentist office. Maybe my luck is changing, haha! Don't worry I won't be posting a video of me using the GoGirl...I seriously doubt I could do it as modestly as Mrs. 4444 did it and I know for a fact that my laugh isn't quite as cute as hers! Thanks Mrs. 4444!! You have made my Monday! Oh and by the way Mrs. 4444, YOU ROCK!!!

By the way, do you think I could have linked this to your name anymore than I did, Mrs. 4444! I just did! haha!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Friday Fragments

Friday Fragments?



Here are my Friday Fragments for this day in May. You know, those things that happen to you during the week that aren't substantial enough for a full post (although my Friday Fragments tend to be lengthy!) Head over to Mrs. 4444's page to see how it's really done and read her Friday Fragments as well as other blogger's who posted their links to Mr. Linky!

*I actually made a list this week for my Friday Fragments...so go me!

**OH. MY. GOSH. My boss (who is no spring chicken, may I remind you) has a facebook page. I walked into his office yesterday morning to ask him a scheduling question and BAM! he was adding a friend on Facebook! I promptly returned to my office and checked my Facebook Privacy Settings to make sure they were set to "only friends."

***You know...when I was younger I was FLAT and I mean FLAT. I used to pray every single night for God to give me boobs. Yes, I know that giving boobs to young girls isn't exactly in his job description but he DID. My junior year I got boobs and it wasn't even me that noticed them first. I was in a play, with the role of a belly dancer (apparently I'm a sucky actress), and a friend of mine came up to the show afterwards and asked me if I stuffed my bra! I was appalled! Of course I didn't, I told her and she was like well then when did your boobs get so big?! It was then I noticed. I had gone from an A cup to a C cup in no time flat (no pun intended). I now am a DD or larger, but I refuse to buy bigger bras than a DD. Anywho. I wear those tank tops with the built-in bra...although the built-in bra does me no good because I also have to wear a regular bra too. Don't worry I'm getting around to my fragment....now. Yesterday, I went outside to smoke (verybadhabitandineedtoquit) and for some reason after I lit my cigarette I stuck my lighter in my shirt (I had on a polo and one of those built-in bra tank tops underneath) I guess at the time I found it funny that it was like a perfectly little shelf for my lighter. GEEZE OH PETE IT'S STORMING!!! Sorry for that sidebar but a clap of thunder just scared the poo out of me! Back to my fragment...so later on...maybe a couple hours I was working away and happened to look down...VOILA! My lighter was still there! What a nifty place to store it, wonder what else would fit there....I know golf balls do (I made a habit of taking home golf balls between my boobs whenever we played putt putt in college, only the pink ones though).

****Mr. Ski left for Cincinnati this morning. He's going to a conference to meet with NFL offensive line coaches...he is so excited. As he was leaving we did our kiss good bye and our I love you's. As he was walking to his ride he reminded me to mow the yard...thanks hunny, I love you too.

*****I commute to work...it's about 100 miles round trip. It sucks. Yesterday on my way home I got stuck behind a cow truck, yummy cow poop smell my favorite...NOT! (Remember when it was popular to say NOT!) So I passed him only to find myself behind another cow truck! More cow poop smell...so I passed him and you would not believe it but I got stuck behind a third cow truck, by this point I was getting nauseated. So I revved my engine and passed him only to find myself behind a horse trailor. I am not kidding. By the time I arrived home, my car was coated in cow and horse poop splatters. FANtastic. Good thing it's raining today. On another note apparently there's a cow convention somewhere on 24W!

I promise next week to try and make my Friday Fragments, actual fragments. :)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Mom




The assignment was posted by Mama's Losin' It

I decided to try it because my blog needs so much help. I do have some fragments for Friday since that's about all I can come up with. So she gives out 5 prompts and you can choose how many if any you want to do. Since I do not have a web cam I decided the video log was out of the picture...so here's my first attempt at Mama's Losin' It's writer workshop. If you want some help with blogging topics head over to Mama's Losin' It for some prompts!

--Do you want a baby?
Yes, but not right now. Yes, the sooner the better. Yes, I go to my friend's house to snuggle and play with her baby so my baby fever will subside. Yes, I can't wait to start planning and buying and reading up on being a good mom. No, what if I suck at it. No, what will I do without any sleep. No, I'm not ready to give up all the not so healthy things I do. Yes, I do want a baby despite the worry, anxiety, and sleeplessness, I want to be a mom. But I'm still afraid I'll suck at it.
Ok, so those are all the things that run through my head when I read that question, literally. I know that now is not the right time. Mr. Ski's army career is not stable...and by hearing from other army wives who have children I'm not too sure that an on-post birth is for me. Besides that, what happens if I get pregnant and 6, 7, 8 months down the road his medical board goes through and we're out of the Army no insurance and no paycheck (aside from mine, which after doing the math there's no way we could live on my paycheck alone). Yeah, yeah I'll have insurance for 180 days but what about after that? What if Mr. Ski isn't done with his degree and can't start a job with decent benefits right away. Then I would feel like complete shit for bringing a child into this world that we couldn't support fully just because I was "ready." So...he and I have discussed it and we'll just have to wait until he's out of the Army, has his degree, and has a stable job with good insurance. We're not asking for a lot..haha. Typing it out makes me seem so naive. But I'm really not, I swear.

I really want to be a mom. I want to experience being pregnant..although I'll probably only like it for a few seconds, I want to deliver our baby and hold it right afterwards crying those tears new moms always cry, I want to snuggle and baby talk, I want to see Mr. Ski hold our baby, I want to play and go to the park with our baby, I want to teach our baby things and watch her/him grow. So, yes, I do want a baby. I am totally afraid though, I'm a worry wart by nature and I'm already worrying about something I don't even have. Like, what if I can't have a baby (I don't think I would do fertility treatments, don't ask why, I just don't), what if there's something wrong with our baby, what if I'm a crappy mom, what if, what if, what if. This is one of those situations I'm going to have to turn it over to someone higher than myself, but that's hard too. Even typing what I feel about this one made me worry. Next prompt! Ha!

--Write a poem for your mother.
This should be funny. I'm not a poet and don't claim to be, so please keep that in mind.

Mom, you always love me best
even when I am a pest.
It makes me sad when I have to leave you
I cry and cry and can't help that I do.
I love the feeling of your embrace
like we are the only ones in that space.
Our bond to me is one that I will always treasure
my love for you no one can measure.
I hope one day to somehow be
as great of a mom as you are to me.

Well, that wasn't as difficult as I thought it was going to be. Sure, it's sort of a first grade poem but I think I will include it in my mom's mother's day card.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Friday Fragments!

Friday Fragments?


It's Friday Fragments!! Hop on over to Mrs. 4444's blog, the originator of this lovely topic to read her Friday Fragments as well!

Let's see...

*First and foremost, who is proud of me for posting two blogs in the same week...ME! ME! ME!

**One of my lovely sisters, next to oldest, got me hooked on the Twilight series. It was sort of a no brainer that I would like it considering I love and miss Buffy so much. Plus they were available on cd and everyone knows that definitely helps out a commute. I loved the series, I liked the movie (Edward could have been hotter, no offense Pattison). So then, my next to oldest sister recommended another vampire (except in this book they are vampyres) series that was recommended to her by my oldest sister. Wow! It's like Twilight but on a whole other level...a bit of a naughty level too. I finished the first book (Marked) and most of the second book (Betrayed)(mainly all of my reading is done on airplanes) and next thing I know Mr. Ski has picked up the first book only out of pure curiosity and maybe because he gets bored in the bathroom...anywho, he LOVES them. He read all of the first book, read all of the second book and finished the third book (Chosen) this morning while I just now finished the second book! He now reads this series whenever he has a free moment...he loves catching up on Zoey Redbird and frankly I love it too! Check out P.C. and Kristen Cast's House of Night novels if you need a new read...maybe you should read it before passing it on to your adolescent daughters...I did say they were a bit naughty at times.

***I'm in love with a baby. His name is Jeffrey. He loves me too. He is the son of our very good friends the Pregents. Baby Jeff is the best baby. He's chill, laid back, hilarious, makes the funniest faces (see below) and overall just a really happy baby. It's always the highlight of my day if I get to see him whenever we go visit! I hope that if Mr. Ski and I can have babies that they are just as awesome as he is...because man, sometimes I'd like to just take him home with me.


****I have a calendar that Mr. Ski got me for Christmas. It has apology letters written to numerous people who President Bush (W) and his people and policies offended during his 8 long years. (The last two years Mr. Ski got me Bushisms calendars...and they rocked too) So this week's apology letter, which could be my favorite so far aside from the letter to the color orange, was to the following individual:

Mr. Harry M. Whittington
807 Brazos St., Suite 1010

Austin, TX 78701


Dear Mr. Whittington,


I'm sorry Dick Cheney shot you in the face.


Sincerely,


(I always write in U.S. Citizen)


Is that not hilarious?! Every time I glance over and see it I laugh and numerous times liquid has almost come out of my nose! I haven't mailed any of these apology letters out...but I do think I will use my favorites and make a collage...or that's what I intend to do...by now you should know how that will go.

*****I mowed the lawn this week. Gawrsh (I'm still in Disney mode), that is so tiring and I only did the front yard. But I also weedeated and blew off the driveway...and I think that our front yard is more difficult to mow than the back because of all the trees and tree roots. It took me close to two and a half hours! I was sweating up a storm and hating life the whole time but after I was done I had the greatest sense of accomplishment. Mr. Ski was impressed too. Our backyard is another story...and by the time it gets done raining (Sunday hopefully) it's only going to be worse. I am dreading it. Hardcore.
******I will leave you with this little tidbit from my most favorite comedian Mitch Hedberg: "I got a business card, cause I wanna win some lunches. That's what my business card says: "Mitch Hedberg, Potential Lunch Winner.""
So, make your own Friday Fragments and use Mr. Linky to put them on Mrs. 4444's blog!